Duncan, Lois:They Never Came Home
- Paperback 2013, ISBN: 9780440207801
Berrett-Koehler Publishers. Very Good. 5.56 x 0.54 x 8.5 inches. Paperback. 2013. 216 pages. <br>We all want to change something about ourselves: l ose weight, quit smoking, improve… More...
Berrett-Koehler Publishers. Very Good. 5.56 x 0.54 x 8.5 inches. Paperback. 2013. 216 pages. <br>We all want to change something about ourselves: l ose weight, quit smoking, improve our finances, and so on. But ch ange is hard, even painful, and it's our nature to avoid pain. In this inspiring how-to guide, Terry Hawkins provides exactly what we need: a straightforward way to break free of old habits that hold us back and adopt new ones that move us forward. It's a proc ess Hawkins herself used to rise above poverty, abuse, and seriou s health problems. Two fictional characters--Pitman and Flipman --demonstrate two possible ways of being. As Pitman, we're trappe d in the Pit of Misery, chained to our past, a helpless victim of circumstance. As the superhero Flipman, we are powerful, courage ous, loved, successful, and able to flip negative thoughts and ha bits into positive ones. Hawkins illustrates precisely what feeli ngs, thoughts, and behaviors send us to the pit and provides a de tailed action plan for getting out of it. This wonderfully human and honest book will help you create the life you want once and f or all. Editorial Reviews Review Terry Hawkins is a positive fo rce of nature. Let her enthusiasm and optimistic approach to life 's challenges rub off on you as you turn the pages. You'll be a b etter person for having read this book. --Ken Blanchard, coauthor of The One Minute Manager and Great Leaders Grow I was about to take antidepressants to stop my spiral downward--then I was hand ed Why Wait to Be Great? I feel so empowered. It was like it was written just for me and everything I was going through. --Ishbel MacConnachie, Director of Studies, GoodStart Training College Po ssibly the best book I have read on overcoming depression, lethar gy, negative self-talk, and more. Every high school student shoul d be given a copy when he or she leaves school--skills for life. --Vivien Wornell, Social Worker/Counselor, St. George Private Hos pital About the Author Terry Hawkins is CEO of the multinational training organization People in Progress Global. In 2012, she wo n the Woman of the Year Award for Business Education from the Nat ional Association of Professional Women. Excerpt. ® Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. Chapter 1 There Are Only Two T imes in Life: Now and Too Late! We all have a story. The basic p remise of living provides us with a smorgasbord of possible oppor tunities to add to our story. We gather stories within our story, and the longer we live, the more scenes we add; thus by the end of our life we have built a story that is long, rich, and complet ely unique to us. No one else ever has or ever will have our stor y -- this is one of the most amazing miracles of life. As much a s our stories may differ, they also unite us in one common elemen t that no human being can ever avoid -- our ability to feel. Our stories trigger a variety of feelings that can either propel us f orward or keep us stifled and paralyzed in the past. We often he ar people say that it is the events and experiences of our lives that shape us into who we are, but is that really the case? Why i s it that two people can experience the same event and yet each b e affected in a completely different way? Is it the story of our life that determines our happiness, or is it the position from wh ich we view our story -- the story we tell ourselves about our st ory? Is it this interpretation that affects the decisions we make , how we feel about our life, and how we feel about those in it? Many years ago I was sitting in my office, reading through the p articipant list for the next management training program I was co nducting for one of our clients. While scrolling, I noticed a han dwritten note beside one of the names. It read: Lynn -- husband d ied four weeks ago. Lynn had participated in our sales and servic e program just over a year earlier. When the course began, we st arted introducing ourselves to one another. Eventually, it was Ly nn's turn to speak. When I asked her how she was feeling, she rep lied, Not that good! Not recalling that note, I thoughtlessly sai d, Oh, why not? It can't be that bad! Her face reddened and her e yes filled with tears, and in that moment I remembered the note. She was the one whose husband who had died four weeks earlier. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't imagine what it was like to e xperience that kind of loss. I felt so stupid and awkward for bei ng flippant. Yet despite my obvious discomfort at my faux pas, sh e responded with warmth and love. She said that she had come to t he program because she wanted to laugh again, as her recent life had been so sad, and she was happy to be here. That night, when I went to bed in my hotel room, I decided to let my imagination r un wild, without boundaries. I tried to imagine what it would be like to lose someone that close to me -- someone I loved with all my heart. I imagined myself never having that person in my life again. I fully associated with the thought. It hurt. The pain spr ead through every limb, every vein, and every heartbeat. It was a lmost too much for me to bear. Yet in the training room I had see n a woman with the courage to confront her deepest anguish and fa ce the world, allowing herself to laugh and cry as she needed to. Lynn spent the next couple of days immersing herself in the pro gram. During one particular section she actually laughed so much she cried. As she wiped away the tears, she told us how wonderful it was to be crying from happiness, not sadness. It's hard to fi nd the words to describe the special feeling of watching someone experience joy again after so much sadness. When Lynn talked abou t her husband, her entire face lit up. He was her soul mate, her lover, her everything! Before meeting him, she had spent many yea rs in an unhappy marriage. This wonderful man had finally given h er the joy that had eluded her with her first husband. Lynn told us that they had been building their dream home, and to speed th ings along financially, he had moved from his position at the Cus toms Department (where he had worked for twenty years) to take up a position as a courier. Six weeks later, he had walked into a b uilding and unknowingly inhaled the deadly bacteria for Legionnai res' disease. Ten days later, he was dead. Her mate, her lover, h er confidant, her friend, was gone. I looked at the sadness in h er eyes and felt an urgent need to take her emptiness away. I des perately wanted her to be happy, and I realized that I was respon ding to my own fears of losing those that I loved. Grief is a nec essary part of healing. By wanting Lynn to not feel her grief, I was trying to protect myself from the pain of death. We try so ha rd to run away from the really painful emotions of life, yet they must be experienced; otherwise, we can't move on. Over the next twelve months, I saw Lynn a few times at my presentations and wo rkshops. We also sent each other occasional e-mails, including on e about a monkey that made her laugh so much she got a stitch in her side! In one of those e-mails, she asked me to make a voice r ecording for her. She said she needed something from me that spok e to her -- and her alone -- to get her through the dark days. S he said, Terry, you say things that inspire me and make me feel a live. Get me out of this rut I'm in. Make me a recording that I c an play in the car when I'm feeling down. I promised her I would send it. The next time I saw Lynn was a few months later at a o ne-day workshop I was conducting. She asked about the recording, and I apologized for not sending it. I confessed that I was so ne rvous about what she might think that I hadn't gotten around to d oing it; I didn't want to embarrass myself. She reassured me, enc ouraged me, and even begged me to do it. We had a few laughs and a big hug, and I promised her I would do it by Christmas. Well, time rolled by, and I thought about that recording nearly every d ay. I kept thinking about how special Lynn was and how pathetic I was for procrastinating. But in truth, I was nervous about what others might think of what I would say. I kept asking myself what I was waiting for. Did I need my message to be perfect? Should i t be profound? And who was I to judge that anyway? I was paralyz ed with indecision just thinking about it! Then came the new year , and the phone rang. Do you know Lynn from Perth? Why, yes! I said with a touch of guilt, remembering the unfinished recording. She died last night in her sleep. Image There are only two ti mes in life: NOW and TOO LATE! I state that phrase nearly every day of my life. For the most part, I live it, because there reall y are only two times in life -- this moment, and then it's gone! If this is the case, then why do so many of us wait to be great? Why do we get so stymied by life that we become frozen? Why does it become so difficult to seize each moment with passion and cour age? Is it because we are afraid? We all get afraid at times, bu t it's sad when that fear paralyzes us and prevents us from movin g forward. This is not a message about physical death. It's a mes sage about the death we have while we're still alive. That night , I cried for Lynn, and I cried for me. I cried that I hadn't don e what she thought I was capable of doing. I cried for the fact t hat I could have made her life a little easier -- but I hadn't. W hy? Because I was afraid! Life is full of learning experiences for all of us; no one escapes. It's packed with situations that g ive us wisdom and understanding -- but what if those experiences are so painful that we get stuck in the pain and thus stop moving forward? Not more than twenty-four hours had passed when I rece ived another phone call. It was a second blow. A young man I had worked with a few weeks before -- a beautiful, talented, intellig ent twenty-one-year-old -- had been sentenced to prison for a dru g offense. Again there was sadness in my heart. I remembered the beautiful, innocent face of this young man with such a promising future. It was hard to think of him being locked away with harden ed criminals in a prison cell, all because of a few unwise choice s. A third blow came a few days later. A friend called to tell m e that his eighteen-year-old sister had tried to kill herself. Sh e had jumped off a bridge four floors high -- and survived! How d esperate must she have been to not see a way out and to make an a ttempt on her own life? I wanted to scream and yell for all thre e of them! In the course of training and presenting to thousands of audiences, I've heard endless stories about people who have b een to hell and back. I've also discovered some lessons and drawn some conclusions from these tragedies and triumphs. The biggest conclusion I've come to is this: I have yet to meet anyone who ha s had a charmed life. Every one of us has experienced something i n our life from which we still carry scars. Some of the scars are self-inflicted, and some are a result of what others have done t o us. They vary in intensity, and some are more painful than othe rs. But behind every face lies an amazing story! All of us have b een touched by life in some way, and I am reminded of this every day. Whenever I look at a stranger's face, I wonder what story th is person could tell me and what painful past lies inside. Our m ost painful memories are usually only exacerbated when we try to numb the feeling by running away. I spent many years of my life f illed with shame and anger about my past, trying to pretend that it never happened. I too have experienced dark times in which I s imply wanted to be able to erase some of those unpleasant, painfu l memories, and I also spent many of my younger years stuck in th at empty hole called What if? A woman so heartbroken, wondering why fate had dealt her such a harsh card; a young man with his wh ole future in front of him, now facing the stark reality of time in prison; a teenager so desperate to silence her pain, now confr onting her own survival. These three -- Lynn, the young drug user , and my friend's sister -- all had something in common, just as you and I probably do. What controls their destinies? How will t hese experiences affect their lives? And is the actual experience the defining moment in their lives? No! It is never the actual experience that defines us. It is how we perceive these experien ces that defines how we will live the rest of our lives. That is the defining moment! All we have is now. In each moment we are g iven the choice of how to interpret and react to each situation. Unfortunately, many of us are completely unaware that we hold the key to our own happiness -- we hold the pen that can write the n ew story of how our life can be. So let's look at some of the th ings that get in the way of this happiness and why we wait to be great. ., Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2013, 3, Laurel Leaf Books, 1990. Taschenbuch. Englisch Empfohlen von 12 bis 17 Jahren. Joan's boyfriend and her brother are missing and assumed dead. Until the voice on the other end of the phone hints at something more terrible. Synopsis When two youths fail to return home from a weekend camping trip, a nightmare of terror begins for their families Rezension: sounded like another great story - two boys go on a camping trip and never return, the sister of one of the guys discovers some strange connections her brother had with a man who sends her on trips to Mexico... what she finds out really disturbs her. The book has a slow start, not until after the first half does it becomes more thrilling. It´s a nice enough book, but there are better ones from Lois Duncan. Rezension: We've been reading the novel in school and I found it to be such a great book I ordered one for myself! I couldn't put it down it's just so mysterious and you never know what's going to happen next! And the book just keeps getting a little weirder and more mysterious the more you read on! It's a great book I would suggest anybody read this book. Rezension: I thought this was a great book. It had a lot of mystery in it which I rarely ever read. It's about two friends that go on a hiking trip and never come home. After the families had agreed to end the search party, a man calls the Drayfus household to tell them that their son owed him a lot of money. This particular chapter is a critical one because that is when it takes a complete turn around. This book contains a lot of fears and mystery which makes it great I highly recommend it. Rezension, Laurel Leaf Books, 1990, 0<
